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Writer's pictureCristina Rusu

Waiting for Mr Darcy

Ever since it's publication date, in 1813, the character of Mr Darcy set women's hearts racing and dreaming about one day meeting their very own Mr Darcy.


Over the years, there have also been a number of television and film adaptations of the much-beloved novel by Jane Austen. The most well-known and either loved or hated are the 1995 BBC adaptation with Colin Firth and Jennifer Ehle and the newest-ish movie from 2005 with Matthew Macfadyen and Keira Knightley.

So why is this fictional character so beloved by women, and why do a lot of women dream of meeting their own Mr Darcy? (including myself)


The simple answer is because he is vulnerable, because he is a bumbling mess and even though slightly (okay, maybe a bit more than slightly) arrogant and proud he takes criticism to heart, is open to change and to work on himself and is a gentleman.


I adore Mr Darcy, ever since I read the book when I was 16. I adored the story of the quick-witted and independent Elizabeth (perhaps a wild woman herself) and the broody and proud Darcy who after slighting Elizabeth's beauty, falls madly in love with her and over the course of a year, tries to win her affections and approval.


It does, however, make dating men and being in relationships rather hard. Expectations of how a man should be and behave are high, and unfortunately for me, I do have very high expectations.


I have been advised a few times to tone down my high expectations in return of financial stability by accepting to be in a comfy relationship. But I guess like Elizabeth, only the deepest love will induce me, not into matrimony as I am not interested in getting married again, but induce me to give up my independence.


So why Mr Darcy and not some other fictional character? I guess because like Elizabeth I like a challenge, I like a sparring partner to measure my wits with. Usually, when I give a man a tongue lashing for whatever reason, I get two responses, either they put their hand on my mouth to shut me up or kiss me. While I find both actions humourous it would be nice to find someone that can keep up with my caustic humour and at times sarcastic nature.


Mr Darcy also listens. He listens to Elizabeth when she reprimands him, maybe perhaps at times wrongly, especially with regards to Mr Wickham, but how amazing would it be to find someone who actually listens? Who does not become defensive when his defects are being pointed out and just decides to work on himself to become a better person. I will admit I am not the best with criticism, but usually, after getting upset, I rummage this new information and try to change and apologize, if I need to.


He is open and honest, granted to the point of being rude and insensitive but I prefer an honest man, I rather have honesty break my heart than a lie deemed to preserve a fragile status quo. Does it help Darcy that he is scathing in regards to Elizabeth's family and considers her beneath him? Not particularly, but in the end, he is just expressing his feelings, as hurtful as they might be to Elizabeth.


He doesn't try to change her. Elizabeth's witty commentaries are not necessarily proper in the social circles' Darcy moves in, but he doesn't wish to change that. When I met my ex he said he loved my wild nature, a few years into our relationship, actually a year before our separation, he told me that he will tame me one day. Don't ever tell a wild thing you will tame them, it will not go down well.


He knows how to apologize when he is wrong. That is a big thing for me, it doesn't always mean that all is forgiven and forgotten, but it does show that he can recognize that he is at fault and remedy it. Never apologizing when you are wrong will create an unhappy relationship and most likely lead up to the relationship ending.


He is intelligent and handsome, and yes, extremely rich. And Colin Firth has done an amazing job portraying him on screen and just establishing him as the one and only Mr Darcy. I must say I did enjoy the movie version as well, with Matthew Macfadyen. He portrayed a more shy and sad Mr Darcy, but that scene in the rain just melts even my bitter heart. And if you don't know what I am talking about, go watch the movie.


What is the point indeed?! When I say waiting for Mr Darcy, I don't necessarily mean I will sit still by the window and sigh at the fact that I still haven't met my Mr Darcy. I will continue to do what I do, work on myself, improve myself, travel (when Covid is finally on its way out) and just live my life and hope that one day, there will be a Mr Darcy in my life.

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