What exactly is a wild woman? And when I say wild, I do not necessarily mean someone who goes out partying all night and drinking, although there is nothing wrong with that.
When I talk about wild women, I mean those women who do not conform to traditional rules of society, they do not fit in a box, sometimes they are called oddballs, spinsters, witches, hags. Society has shunned these women since time immortal. I am here today to sing their praises.
I am a wild woman. How do I know? Well, I have been told it numerous times by people, and I am happily embodying my inner wild woman. My mom used to be extremely exasperated that her daughter wouldn't wear shoes, or hated to have her hair brushed or didn't want to wear a dress.
I used to feel more confident and at ease with myself climbing a tree than wearing a pretty dress and pretty shoes. Growing up with a big brother, made me more interested in playing football or riding a bike, or a DIY bow and arrows trying my skills at archery. Think Merida from Brave, minus the red, curly hair and thick Scottish accent.
For me being wild is in my nature. Growing up in a larger than average village, with loads of free open spaces, with chickens and turkeys, and cats and dogs as your best friends rather than human children, is it really a surprise I grew up wild?
Wildness for me has very much to do with freedom. Freedom of being whoever I want to be, without being restricted, without conforming to societies rules, without being told that I couldn't do something, because it is not very ladylike. I am not a lady, I will never be one, and I am not ashamed of it.
So what exactly is a wild woman? Mostly, a wild woman is whoever she wants to be. Some are extremely feminine while others more of a tomboy, but generally you can always tell who they are because they do not conform to societies rules. They can be married, but they have still kept their maiden name, they do not have children because they enjoy their free time, or they have children but raise their children to be the same as them, wild and free, if a boy likes pink and wants to be a queen, so be it, if a girl wants to be a mechanic, so be it. Gender stereotypes are not something that a wild woman concerns herself with. No labels, no boxes, no shackles.
Throughout history, we see how women who embraced their wildness or otherness, have been persecuted, hanged or burned at the stake. I talk about witches, the original wild women, the healers, midwives of old. During the Salem witch trials, within a year 14 women were put to death. Scholars estimate that the total number of people that have been killed during witch trials is around 100,000. Men, women and children.
But we also see women who refused to change their beliefs even though they were risking their own lives. Jeanne D'Arc for example, who was hailed a hero and later burned at the stake. Emmeline Pankhurst, a British activist who fought for the right of women to vote. Rosa Parks who refused to move at the end of the bus because of the colour of her skin.
Wild woman, means we do not agree on a status quo, we do not shut up to "keep the peace". Wild woman means making people uncomfortable because we speak our truths and live according to our rules, not society's.
Living life like that sometimes is lonely, as many people just don't understand the choices we make. I do hate being told I cannot do something or I shouldn't do something because I am a woman and it's a man's job. I had a recent example of that when I asked this guy out at work. All my girlfriends were very supportive, cheering me on and saying "You don't need a man to do the first step. You are your own woman, just ask him out." So I did. Mainly, because I really do not have the patience for whatever mating game men play. I mean seriously, 34 here, don't have time for this "I am hunter, you are prey" crap. The guy said no, which is fine, but some of my male friends were rather shocked I asked him out and said that he should ask me out not the other way around. It's a man's job to ask a woman out. And there you have it. Do I agree with it? Not really. I don't believe it is anyone's job, I believe that if you like someone and are interested in getting to know them better ask them out. Is it scary and gut-wrenching and do you feel sick and anxious about it? Hell yeah! But I for one am tired of being passive.
I am tired of being called bossy because I am assertive. I am tired of being thought weak because I am a woman and incapable of opening a jar of pickles. Put a melon between my thighs and I crush it. Does it annoy me that men seem to run away from me at times because I am wild and pull them up on their bullshit? Sometimes. But it also shows me they are just not right for me.
Would I change just to fit in? Oh hell no! I will always take off my high heels and walk barefoot, no matter the stares or frowns I get. I will always stand up for myself and others if I feel that there is an injustice done, no matter the consequences. I will always ask boys out because, why not?! I will always wear what makes me feel comfortable not what I should wear based on my age. If I want to wear hotpants, I wear hotpants. I will not dye my hair because my grey hair makes you feel uncomfortable or because you think I let myself go. I am proud of my silver crown. Growing old is a privilege denied to many.
I was born wild and I will stay wild for the rest of my life. Try to tame me, and you are out. Try to change me, and you are out. Some women were just born to run with wolves, do not try to change them, do not try to tame them.
Be wild! Be wicked! Be free! Be barefoot! Just be you! Women who run with the wolves...
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